The Savior Understands

One particular night, I needed some time alone. I went to the temple parking lot and sat in my car for a long time. I said lots of prayers and I read scriptures and I cried. I've been thinking a lot lately about how I can get to know my Savior well enough that I can lean on him. He's who will pull me through this. I sat in the car reading the accounts of his last days in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. As I was reading and praying I could feel such peace and calm. One part that really hit me was in Matthew 26:38. It says "Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death". Right there it teaches that Christ knows how I feel, he was full of so much sorrow, even unto death. He knows how I feel. The scriptures couldn't make that any more clear. In verse 39, the Savior asks the Lord to let this cup pass from him but says he is willing to do the will of the Lord. It made me realize that if Christ can feel such sorrow, sorrow beyond what I have ever felt, and he can keep going, then I can do it too. He could have ended it all there, He had the power to do so, but he didn't quit. Even after the suffering in the garden was over, His suffering and pain didn't stop. Fortunately I'm not being asked to do the same. That night was really awesome because I felt like I'm one step closer to figuring out how to lean on our Savior during my best times AND during my worst times. I'm still not all the way there, but I'm getting there.

Peace at the Temple

Several months back my friend invited me to join her for the 5:15am temple session. She had been attending the session twice a month and encouraged me to do the same.  At first I thought there was no way I could wake up and be to the temple that early and even if I could I would fall asleep. I decided to give it a go, and honestly I was nervous to be there. I had really been struggling and was afraid I would panic while I was there. However, having a friend to go with gave me the encouragement and support I needed.

As I sat through that early morning session, not only was I more awake than any other session I had been to, but I felt a peace come over me that gave me comfort and pushed away all the things I had been struggling with. For that time in the temple, I was able to step away from all the thoughts that I battle daily, and have a short break from them. What a blessing!!  I know that the temple can provide great peace during the hard times that bipolar can bring into our lives. I'm so grateful I have one so near to my home.

I have gone back to the 5:15 session several times since then and every time I have felt that same peace come over me. The temple is a holy place that can provide relief from the daily temptations and trials we face. What a wonderful blessing temples can be!