Lead, Kindly Light

In Relief Society a while back, a sister played "Lead, Kindly Light" on the piano. While she did, I followed along with the words in the hymn book. As I did, the first two lines really touched me:

"Lead, kindly Light, amid th'encircling gloom; Lead thou me on!

"The night is dark, and I am far from home; Lead thou me on!"

Those lines touched me because I've felt that way before. I've felt the encircling gloom. It's all consuming! It's painful! I've felt that dark night where I may not have been physically away from home but mentally and emotionally I was very far away. That's a lonely, dark night. However as dark as those moments have been, there have been times when I've prayed for guidance and my prayer has been answered in a profound way. Other times have been less profound, but He still answers. At those dark moments the best solution has been to turn to The Lord and say "Lead thou me on!" and He will. He will lead us on in the best possible way for each of us. 

Counsel with the Lord

While studying scriptures, I came across Alma 37:37 which reads "Counsel with The Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good". As I pondered that verse I thought about all the people I've sought counsel with: my husband, family, friends, doctors, counselors and my bishop. Then it hit me, yes they each play an important role in my healing process BUT Heavenly Father plays the biggest role. He is the most important individual to counsel with. I have relied on him for help but now I wonder how much I've done my way verses his way. He knows the best path for healing for me. He knows the whole plan. He's the best person to rely on for guidance and direction.  All the others that are helping me are Heavenly Father's tools. He is the master though, he is in control. If I turn to him for direction, he will help me figure all of this out. The best solution is to counsel with the Lord in everything!

Temptations of the Adversary

In his most recent conference address, Elder Bednar spoke on chastity and he also spoke on the power and desires of Satan. He said "Because a physical body is so central to the Father's plan of happiness and our spiritual development, Lucifer seeks to frustrate our progression by tempting us to use our bodies improperly." I can attest to that statement  and it doesn't apply just to the area of chastity. He wants to see us inflict harm upon our bodies in any way he possibly can. 

That quote really hit me during one particular hard week. I had desires to harm myself. That week, while on a walk, I was really struggling. I turned on Elder Bednar's talk and the quote really hit me. It occurred to me that following through on the thoughts in my mind are exactly what Satan wants me to do. As I realized that, the peace and comfort of the Spirit came over me. I knew that Satan could only get me if I let him. Satan wants me to fail and he's trying his hardest to make that happen. However, Heavenly Father can keep me from failing. 

One of my darkest moments through this trial came when I distanced myself from my Heavenly Father. When I did that He could no longer protect me from the power of the adversary. Satan is out to get all of us. However, if we stay on the Lord's side, Satan will have no power over us. I was so grateful for that little bit of peace and comfort I felt while on my walk.